Friends!
I write you today with some very important news!
YOU ARE NOT CRAZY!!!!
Lately I have found myself having conversations with friends of mine that are feeling extra vulnerable in the area of relationships. I myself have also felt incredibly vulnerable. In having these conversations with friends of mine as well as doing my own heart reflection I have come to but one conclusion! The onslaught we are feeling in the spirit right now is none other than “The Spirit of the Hallmark movie”!
Don’t you see that the reason you’re wanting to hold his/her hand, snuggle up near an open fire and drink hot coco, kiss under the mistletoe, bake Christmas cookies together etc is all connected to this spirit?
I kid you not, from the end of October well through the New Year there seems to be a sudden crisis of heart where one feels the immense need to be in a relationship if they’re not already! BEWARE lest you get sucked into it to!
Okay, so if you can’t tell by now, I am being slightly dramatic, slightly sarcastic, perhaps even satirical, but also slightly real.
Here’s the real. Without fail for AT LEAST the past 10 years of my life I have felt some level of loneliness from late October well through the New Year. I would see my friends with their boyfriends, fiancé’s , husbands, partners and I would feel like “man I must be missing something!” In fact I would almost make a silent vow in my heart that by the next year I would find myself with a significant someone- I wouldn’t find myself “alone”. Well, as you may be able to tell, years went by and I continued to find myself single.
Over the years I learned to love this! I was able to embrace the gift of singleness for the time being and able to focus each year on the gifts God was giving me within the gift of being single. The sting of loneliness didn’t exist as strongly when I was able to live in the present and acknowledge the incredible things God was doing in my life. But somewhere deep inside there was always a sting… a gnawing that wouldn’t let up. I want to talk about this a bit because I believe it is multidimensional.
- I believe this longing/loneliness is first a picture of Lovesickness to our Bridegroom. I believe that it is a reminder that we will never be whole- never be one- without Him. Luke 5:34-35 talks about when the Bridegroom is taken away then the people shall fast- they shall hunger and thirst for Him- awaiting to be reunited with Him as One Body in One Spirit. (Rom 8:23)
- I believe another reason for the longing/loneliness is so we might not forget our brothers and sisters. Think of how many 10’s of thousands of people (probably more) are spending the Holidays alone, some homeless, some orphaned, some without money to buy gifts, some without money to buy food, and so much more. I believe, that feeling this sense of needing to belong, needing to be loved and seen by someone is a gift to us to be able to empathize with the World- the World that is hungering for the Sons and Daughters of God to be revealed to the World. (Rom 8:19-25)
- I believe this hunger is also for growth and self-reflection- to grow us in deeper intimacy with Jesus, the keeper and protector of our hearts. Our God is jealous over our hearts and where our affection lies. He desires us to have no other gods before Him. (2 Cor 11:2, Deut 4:23-24)
- I believe this hunger can also be a sign that we are in a wilderness season. The wilderness season is a gift that many don’t want- it is not easy but it is a place that produces in us fruit that will last us through the valley and mountain seasons of life. I love the Laura Hackett Park song “Beautiful Mercy” and the part of the lyrics “And He’s brought me to the wilderness where I will learn to sing// and He lets me know my barrenness so I will learn to lean”. The wilderness is a place where we are made dependent upon Jesus- where we must lay down our pride and our striving and instead rely upon Jesus and His grace. The wilderness is a place where we are tempted- like Jesus in Luke 4- and where we must learn to overcome! It’s not really a pretty place but definitely a necessary place – especially if Jesus Himself had to go through it. Some Scripture that has always helped me in these wilderness seasons are: 2 Cor 4, Hebrews 12:1-13, James 1, Proverbs 3, Hebrews 4:12-16, Isaiah 53, 2 Cor 12:19, and so much more. For I know in those seasons the stretching and the changing are all because He is working in me a far greater weight of glory!
- a. I think this gnawing/longing/loneliness also exists is so that we may be called to action. We live in such a disjointed, disconnected culture now more than ever with the rise in technology. People, who have come together for an event that would bring each other together, literally sit in rooms with each other all on separate devices! MINDBLOWING! I believe that this sense of longing/ loneliness exists so that we may gather together in healthy communities! That we may find ourselves in a place where we can be vulnerable with each other, share our hearts, hopes, dreams, hurts, disappointments etc! This feeling of loneliness/ longing often times makes people isolate themselves and retreat feeling as though no one will be able to understand or that no one will want to “go there” with them. The truth is EVERYONE feels a sense of loneliness to some extent or another! EVERYONE wants to belong, to be loved, welcomed and championed in life for who they are! b. The other side of this call to action is a call to intercession which goes hand and hand with point 2. This sensitivity to loneliness/ longing etc. is a tugging on your heart to intercede for those that are struggling with this on a whole other level. See, Jesus loves to entrust us with His heart, He loves when we pray for the hurting, the lonely, the “lost”, the ones in bondage, and He moves at the sound of our voice! c. He loves too when our prayers move us to action! (1 Jn 3:17-19, Mt 25:37-45) when we find ourselves overcome with these feelings it is an opportunity for us also to go out of our way to find those that are needing a touch from God. To find those that need some extra love, the friendly hello, the unexpected gift, the unexpected phone call or letter, a hug, etc. God wants to use His people as His hands and feet! He is longing for His Sons and Daughters to reveal the Love of Jesus to those in need! So let’s get moving past ourselves, past our insecurities, loneliness, aching, etc. and let’s instead REACH for those that are needing a hand!
To review, this sense of longing and loneliness can be a sign of a variety of things: Lovesickness, empathy, growth, a wilderness season, or a call to action by gathering, interceding and/ or reaching! There are many other things I would love to say but I don’t want this post to be too long! So here’s something to chew on a bit!
May this season be a season unlike any other for you! May you grow in your relationships with God and with people and may you also grow in love!
Blessings,
❤️
A Life DeVeauted 
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